The Adventures of Two Country Misses: a P&P sequel
by Lrnd
Summary: The adventures of the other Bennet sisters
1. Sisters and Stories

May 3, 2002  
  
"The Adventures of Two Country Misses: a Pride and Prejudice sequel"  
  
Chapter one: Sisters and Stories  
  
Warning: Contains sappiness and general gooiness  
  
"My heart, do not grimace! Have no fear. My sisters will be on their best behaviour. If you look like an ogre, you will frighten them into timidity and they will only be mere apparitions during their entire visit!" Mr. Darcy's look of apprehension at the prospect of Elizabeth's sisters, Mary and Kitty's visit faded away into a look of fond amusement as his lovely wife attempted to fix his cravat. She was struggling with it. Tying a cravat was something that took skill and years of practice. Something only his valet did, as he could not make heads or tails of it. He took her hands into his and bent to stare into her very fine eyes. They had bewitched him at the Meryton Assembly and they bewitched him now and forever. He stole a kiss while her hands were captives.  
  
"Sir! I did not think you so unscrupulous as to take advantage of a lady in distress." He laughed at her playful manner. If propriety did not demand that he be seen in society at least once or twice a Season, he would lock his lovely lady in his room and never let her out. He grabbed his wife and kissed her even more deeply as a carriage pulled up in the driveway and two giggling girls emerged to catch them in their indiscretion.  
  
"My heart, it does seem as if we have an auditory." Mary and Kitty stared at their sister and brother-in-law as they reluctantly parted. Their consternation was evident. This was the serious and arrogant Mr. Darcy who had awed Mrs. Bennet sufficiently that she was actually polite? His present disheveled state was incongruous with their memories of an austere and cold mien.  
  
Elizabeth Darcy (nee Bennet) laughed at their disconcerted stares. The footman who was bringing their bags into Pemberley was well used to such affectionate displays of affection by the Master and Mistress. Thus were the shades of Pemberley polluted not by coarseness, as was Lady Catherine's allusion, but playful romps of the more amorous type.  
  
Their sister's warm greeting dissipated any fears. They were introduced to Georgiana who was lovely and fair and extremely shy. Not at all the proud young lady Wickham had accused her of being. The Bennet girls settled into their new home quickly. Mr. Darcy had promised his wife that her sisters and his would be brought into society together. Mary and Kitty had come to learn some manners while Georgiana was to learn some boldness.  
  
Mary and Kitty were given voice and singing lessons to take with Georgiana. This was more for the benefit of Mary who enjoyed showing off skills she had not yet mastered. While benefiting from the superior society the Darcy's provided she was still a young lady who enjoyed reading books of quality such as Fordyce's iSermons/i and the iRise and Fall of the Roman Empire/i.  
  
She entered the Pemberley library with slight trepidation, would she be welcome into this sanctum? She was glad for Elizabeth's offer to visit, but she knew she had always been poor company and had no pretensions that the offer was anything more than an obligatory duty. The library was prodigious and more than commodious. Elizabeth was sitting in an armchair reading. She put her book down and motioned Mary to sit by her.  
  
"Mary." She smiled in greeting and Mary felt a pang of jealousy at her beauty. "Are you happy here?" Elizabeth was not so oblivious to not realize that Mary had never been comfortable in the Bennet home as the homeliest of the sisters and had never felt accepted by her father whose favorite was Elizabeth and her mother whose favorite was the erstwhile Lydia. Although she was pretty, she was just not as pretty as any of her sisters. Elizabeth knew that inevitably Mary had turned to books as her solace and sole pleasure.  
  
Mary looked at her sister and nodded an assent.  
  
"Good." Elizabeth grasped Mary's hand and refused to let her get up. "Mary. I want you to know that you are my sister and I love you. I would like us to be friends." Mary started at this strange confession and felt happier than she had ever been. From then on, Mary was more comfortable in her skin and even felt bold enough to tease Mr. Darcy, sometimes. She was happy in Pemberley where she was not constantly compared to her eldest sisters who had caught rich husbands, Lydia who had sadly caught a Wickham, or Kitty who was much prettier than she. She was free to read and play the pianoforte as often as she would like without her father complaining of the noise. And her favorite activity was to search the immense library for obscure texts in obscure languages. She was searching for such a text when she found a Novel hidden among the stacks. She was shocked and the only plausible inference to make was that it belonged to Elizabeth, Kitty, or Georgiana, being the only other females who used the library. She turned looking stern towards the ladies.  
  
"To who does this novel belong?" Saying the novel as if it were an impolite word not to be mentioned in proper society. iThe Adventures of Belinda/i. was held in her fingertips as if it was trash. Kitty and Georgiana looked puzzled while Mr. Darcy looked extremely guilty. Elizabeth was attempting not to laugh and stuffed the hem of her sleeve into her mouth. Seeing that no one was admitting her guilt, she said in a clearly disappointed voice, "I will have to keep this novel myself and keep it hidden to prevent it from being read. If, however, someone would like to make a claim, I will be willing to hand it over with an interdict to not read it and with a stern lecture on proper reading habits." And she left the room followed by Georgiana and Kitty who wanted to see her hidey-hole.  
  
No longer looking guilty, Mr. Darcy looked afraid. Elizabeth had once, in their tumultuous courtship, said that their reading habits would probably be widely different. He had challenged her to prove it. He introduced her to his dry, scholarly texts and she introduced him to the fantastical world of novels. After spending hours on estate business, he enjoyed unwinding by the fire with a fluffy novel. It provided him with a light pleasure. He did not know what to do. He did not want to risk raising Mary's ire at his reading habits; however, he had not finished that particular novel! He was at the bit where Belinda was about to escape from her roguish captor, Don Giovanna, a dastardly Italian who wanted to ravish the poor heroine! He would now never know how the novel would end. He sighed.  
  
"Elizabeth, my soul, whatever should I do?" The plaintive note in his voice melted her resolve and she burst into laughter.  
  
"Dear heart, go to Mary and explain. Perhaps she will let you off lightly."  
  
"I do not think that likely. When my cousin Colonel Fitzwilliam, a lady- killer, attempted to flirt with Mary, Mary asked him what book he had read recently and chastised him severely for not remembering the last book he read. I shudder to think what she will say to me, a novel reader." He groaned. "Elizabeth, I am sorry to say I live in fear of your sisters." Elizabeth only laughed and seeing that he provided her with unrelenting amusement, he left in a huff.  
  
He found Mary in the music room practicing a difficult piece.  
  
"Miss Bennet."  
  
"Mr. Darcy." Mary wondered why he was soliciting her attention and hoped he would go away. This piece was quite difficult and she wished to practice without interruption. He fidgeted and finally spoke.  
  
"The book was mine, but before you say anything, I would like to say that your visit has been extremely pleasant. My sister and I extremely enjoy your company and I you would like anything, I am sure that I can provide it, whatever it may be." He said this very rapidly, and Mary was not sure, but she thought she heard a bribe.  
  
He knew she knew he had just tried to bribe his wife's sister. His conscience pricked him for his wickedness. He wondered what Mary would do. She smiled. It was a very scary smile. Mr. Darcy quaked in fear.  
  
"There is actually something I have been wanting to do for a while…"  
  
"Yes. What is it?"  
  
"I've always wanted to learn how to fence."  
  
"What! Fencing is not a hobby that ladies are supposed to take up. I was expecting you to say a new dress or piece of music."  
  
"Perhaps that would be something Kitty would ask for." Kitty walked in.  
  
"Actually I would like to learn how to shoot and ride, and maybe do both at the same time." Taking advantage of Mr. Darcy in a moment of weakness, as it was obvious he would succumb to Mary's request.  
  
"Oh dear. My sister-in-laws are bloodthirsty savages. I live in fear of my life."  
  
To Be Continued in chapter two: Lessons and Love  
  
Disclaimers: All characters belong to Jane Austen, this plot belongs to me. Some lines are generalized quotes from Pride and Prejudice. 


	2. Lessons and Love

Rated: PG-13 for things implied and innuendos.  
  
Chapter two: Lessons and Love part 1  
  
Mr. Darcy was just about to succumb. Yes was on the tips of his tongue. He was ready to go against his very old-fashioned belief that women should not be allowed near weapons. The man should protect the women. (Elizabeth is still in the process of reforming him; he can't help himself, the poor dear) Mary and Kitty looked at him with anticipation. He was going to grant them their wish.  
  
Georgiana rounded the corner.  
  
Mr. Darcy looked at his beloved sister. If he succumbed now, his sister would be able to take advantage of that and ask for whatever she wanted. He would become indulgent. Then everyone would whisper behind his back that he was soft and an easy mark. No, he mustn't allow that to happen. (Sometimes men can get so irrational, j/k)  
  
"I am sorry but I must deny you that request." Mary was quite shocked at this turn of events, however she had perfected the poker face. It was necessary when responding to the absurd requests of her mother without bursting into belly laughs. Peacock feathers and pink boas, indeed!  
  
"Sir. Then I must say I am quite disappointed. You will just have to wonder how the story will end. Will our beloved heroine, Belinda survive her encounter with the wicked Don, will she find true love, and will she find the treasure to rescue her poor papa?" Mary teased.  
  
"Mary, I myself am disappointed that you have read the novel." Kitty said. "Shocked that you would allow yourself to be sullied." Kitty continued teasingly.  
  
Mary laughed, "I did not need to read it. All novels are the same." Turning to the disappointed Mr. Darcy, "Which is why I am quite disappointed in you. You must set an example to the young unformed minds in the village and at home. What does Elizabeth think of this horrid habit?" Elizabeth, who had been eavesdropping at the door, chose this moment to make her entrance.  
  
"I think it is appalling and find myself very disappointed. I must think of a suitable punishment." Her eyes twinkled. Mr. Darcy found himself thinking naughty thoughts. Elizabeth gave him a sly wink that none, but he could see.  
  
"Yes. I am very ashamed. Of course, I would need to be punished. Hehe." He let himself be dragged off by his wife.  
  
Kitty turned to Mary in puzzlement. "Did you hear that? I do believe he giggled. Whatever was the giggle for?" Mary, as the elder by one year, responded as an older sister only can when confronted with something unknown. She patted Kitty's hand.  
  
"I'm sorry. You are too young to know." Kitty made a face.  
  
"I bet you don't know either." Mary responded as only an older sister can respond when found out by the younger sister. She stuck out her tongue. "Go AWAY! I need to practice this piece."  
  
"Hmph. I don't need to take this." Kitty, sticking out her own tongue and pulling an eyelid down making a hideous face at Mary, left in search of Georgiana. She needed a new dress for the ball that they were having next month anyway.  
  
* * *  
  
"My heart." They were lying in bed in a tangle of sheets and limbs.  
  
"Yes." Here motions languorous as she stroked his chest. It was quite a magnificent chest. It must be all that swimming he does, thought Elizabeth.  
  
"Mary wanted to learn how to fence. Kitty wanted to learn how to shoot and ride. I said no. No novel is worth that." Elizabeth smiled. He was sometimes so overly macho. Of course, she loved it when he was so macho. Hmm. Yum.  
  
"Darling, that was definitely the right answer. Can you imagine? Mary has absolutely no grace!" She sent a silent apology to her sister. "I remember when she was but a wee little child. She was reading and she accidentally crashed into a table which lost its footing which…well let's just say, the new rector of our church never came to visit ever again."  
  
"How old was she?" He asked laughingly while pulling her close to him.  
  
"I do believe this occurred a few months before we married." Mr. Darcy lost himself in thought at the mention of their nuptials. It was a perfect day and he had a goddess beside him. He sighed, he carried that memory forever in his heart. The wedding night was remembered and reenacted everyday. "Hehe."  
  
"Darling, whatever was that giggle for?"  
  
"Come here my pretty and let me show you." Elizabeth laughed. Her husband loved her as only a man violently in love could.  
  
* * *  
  
"Georgiana, what a lovely dress. Is this the one you plan on wearing to the ball?" Kitty asked. The dress she held up was a lovely baby blue.  
  
"Yes. Cousin Ian brought it for me when he came to visit."  
  
"Ian? Oh yes, Colonel Fitzwilliam. He looked very dashing in his redcoat." Georgiana smiled at her friend. Her affection for men in red was quite well known. Kitty herself turned a lovely shade of red when she realized that she had been caught daydreaming.  
  
"I think he fancied Mary for a while. He flirted with her for a dreadfully long time."  
  
"Dear Georgiana, did he neglect you? Well, the next time I see him, I'll be assured to remind of his familial duties as a cousin and guardian, even if he is wearing that lovely red coat." Ladylike giggles filled the room at this statement and later were followed by an unladylike snort.  
  
"Georgiana! A lady does not snort! She quietly titters behind a handkerchief, being sure to hide her teeth." Of course, Mr. Bennet was quite up to date on modern hygienic and insisted that their teeth were brushed after every meal so the Bennet girls and of course, the Darcys have lovely white teeth.  
  
"That was not I! Kitty, prevarication is a sin!" Retorted a red Georgiana.  
  
"No it isn't. It is only frowned upon. Besides, I do not snort. I am much to ladylike." This was answered with a disbelieving snort, which set off another round of giggles.  
  
* * *  
  
Mary was walking about Pemberley looking for a spot to read. The house was lovely, but it was much too loud to concentrate. She kept hearing odd noises coming from upstairs and Kitty and Georgiana were having hysterics in the drawing room. She had even gone in to lecture them.  
  
"Georgiana and Kitty, I am very surprised at you. Laughing hysterically is for one thing, not very healthy, and two, very unladylike." For some reason, this set them off again and Mary, annoyed slammed the door shut and grabbed the first book in the library. She stormed off.  
  
"Ahh, what a lovely spot." It was a beautiful spot overlooking the pond. There were lovely primroses everywhere and the great big willow shaded her from the worst of the Sun's rays. She reached spread the large book in her lap.  
  
"iSpanish for Dummies/i." Mary shrieked in rage. The birds squawked their distress at the sound and took flight. "Is everyone out to mock me?!?" She settled down after a long scream. Screaming was always helpful for her to relieve her stress. Living with Mrs. Bennet was very stressing and she often took long walks into the woods to release tension. Mary would never admit it, but she was quite the outdoorsy type.  
  
One of the barn cats landed on Mary. Bereft of prey, it had decided to take a consolation prize. Mary studying quite studiously unconsciously rubbed the cat. Deep purrs resounded.  
  
"What a pretty kitty you are. What is your name little one?" Purrs answered her.  
  
"I will just have to name you myself! Do you like Fitzwilliam?" Noting the cat's complete lack of interest, Mary chuckled.  
  
"I don't really care for the name too much either. Such a mouthful! Of course, Mr. Darcy is a wonderful brother-in-law," Mary looked around making sure no one had caught her praising him. She wouldn't want others to think she had gone soft. "But really Fitzwilliam! I think when they have a son they should decide not to torture the poor boy."  
  
"I will just have to tell Mr. Darcy you said that." A man suddenly appeared from behind the tree.  
  
"Sir, I demand to know who you are." Mary said in shock at the tall gentleman standing in front of her. He was quite handsome, and he knew it too, Mary thought cynically. Most of Mary's thoughts were cynical, however, and must be taken with a grain of optimism.  
  
Giving a deep bow worthy of royalty, "Earl Wesley of Weston, Lord …" Mary interrupted him, not caring that she was being rude. Besides, he was rude first!  
  
"Yada, yada, yada. Well my Lord," she said sarcastically, "Perhaps you do not know, but eavesdropping on one's private conservation is considered rude by polite society." Liam Harcourt tried to cover his surprise. Most women would have swooned at hearing that he was an Earl. Most women would have swooned knowing he was a iLord/i. Most women would swoon at seeing the sight of a strange man albeit one very handsome. This one did not. She intrigued him, and her lovely flashing eyes only served as incentive.  
  
"My dear, a conversation implies two or more participants such as what you and I are doing now." Glares met his attempt to lighten the mood.  
  
"I was talking to the cat." He tried not to laugh. A cat took precedence over him. How his grandfather would roll in the grave.  
  
"I am offended that you think a cat is a much wittier conversationalist than I. My teachers at Oxford would not be pleased at what you think of my repartee." Mary was seeing red. Georgiana and Kitty had laughed at her, well not really she knew, but she was much too angry to care. The book had laughed at her. She could not roll her R's. And this idandy/i called a Lord was attempting to make her the fool!  
  
"ARGH! I can see that you are very well pleased at your witticisms. So I leave you to them. Good day, sir." Mary gave a quick curtsy and again stormed away in search of peace and quiet. The cat got up and followed.  
  
* * *  
  
"Liam. There you are, old bean." Colonel Fitzwilliam rounded the corner. "Where have you been off too?"  
  
"I just met the most delightful young lady. I came here to look at the primroses and heard this young lady chatting about what a horrid name 'Fitzwilliam' is." He glanced at his friend, and said laughing, "No offense."  
  
"None taken." The Colonel was fascinated. It was not often any young lady, or any young man for that matter, could catch the gaze of the Earl. He was notoriously known for his gambling and womanizing. None of the more extraordinary things true of course, but Weston always did like to fan the rumours and have his bit of fun. He did enjoy (and prefer) the company of women and there were plenty. Matchmaking mamas, every Season, threw their daughters at him hoping one might snag the handsome and wealthy man, a self- confirmed bachelor at the age of 26.  
  
"So who is this young lady?" The Colonel asked wondering about the young lady who had captured his friend's sight.  
  
"Alas, I do not know. She did not give me her name and would not let me finish mine." He looked forlorn at the thought. "I shall never see the little pixie again." He sighed again. "She was really quite lovely. Dark expressive eyes, dark brown hair, and her chest heaves magnificently when she is angry. She was talking to a cat, right there." Looking to the spot beneath the willow where Mary had been, the Colonel saw something on the ground. It was a book and he opened the front cover. "Property of Fitzwilliam Darcy, master of Pemberley."  
  
"Well, whoever this lady might be, she must be a guest at Darcy's. Let's head there now, maybe we'll catch a look at this firebrand of yours." Weston laughed at the nomenclature.  
  
"Hopefully."  
  
* * *  
  
Colonel Fitzwilliam and Lord Weston had just been announced.  
  
Mr. Darcy had just come down the stairs to greet his cousin and friend.  
  
"Weston! I haven't seen you in months. You never came to my wedding!" he said accusingly.  
  
"Darcy, I'm sorry old chap! I was stuck tending the old homestead. It's nearly decrepit as Pemberley." Darcy laughed. Pemberley was his pride and joy and not a sense of decrepitness could be seen. White Hall was a magnificent estate, only slightly more magnificent than Pemberley, which Darcy would have been hard pressed to admit.  
  
"Well, apology accepted. Come meet my lovely wife. She is coming down soon. Brandy?"  
  
"No thank you, too early for brandy, how about some port though?"  
  
"Coming right up." Slight footfalls were heard coming down the stairs. Weston turned to see the woman who had made the implacable ice statue known as Mr. Darcy, melt.  
  
She was turned away from him a moment and he saw the outline of her back. It was the same back that had walked away from him minutes before! Disappointed rang sharply through him. So the lovely firebrand belonged to Darcy. He never had a chance. She turned and he gasped.  
  
Darcy frowned at Weston. He just gasped at his wife. Oh no. His friend had just fallen in love with his wife. He knew it wasn't Elizabeth's fault that she was so breathtakingly beautiful that other men wanted her. But they couldn't, hehe, they would never enjoy Elizabeth as he did. She was his. Mine, he fiercely thought. He reached out and hugged her to him. In every action he took, it was clear that Darcy was marking his territory.  
  
Weston wanted to laugh. So this was the lovely creature that captivated Darcy. She was very lovely, but not as lovely as that enticing creature by the willow. He increasingly believed that she was nothing more than a dryad haunting the shades of Pemberley.  
  
"Nice meeting you Mrs. Darcy." He took her hand and kissed it charmingly. Darcy frowned disapprovingly. Elizabeth smiled. The male posturing had not gone unnoticed and she was very amused by it all.  
  
She had lovely eyes as well. Amusement clear in her expressive eyes, eyes quite similar to the ones who had captured his heart. His heart? Weston laughed. He was still so foolish. His heart? After meeting and talking to a young lady for no more than five minutes. Impossible.  
  
The door swung open. Kitty and Georgiana entered and dropped two very neat curtsies. There hysterical laughing had subsided much earlier and the discussion went to dancing and even the iwaltz/i!  
  
"Girls!"  
  
"Colonel Fitzwilliam."  
  
"Cousin."  
  
"I want you to meet a good friend of mine. This is Earl Wesley of Weston, Lord Liam Harcourt."  
  
"Pleased to meet you sir." Weston looked at Kitty. This must be Mrs. Darcy's sister. They have the same features.  
  
Once more the door opened. In strode Mary, pulling off her gloves and wrap. It was she! It was his wood nymph!  
  
Mary saw Mr. Darcy and the Colonel, but did not see Weston. He was minutely hidden behind the tall glasses of port.  
  
"Colonel Fitzwilliam, how nice to see you again. Have you read that book I recommended to you on your previous visit?" The Colonel spluttered in an attempt to quickly answer.  
  
"Miss Bennet, I'm very sorry to say that I have not had the time to look at the literature you so igenerously/i recommended."  
  
"Well, see that you do find the time." Mary said in a voice that would do any military man proud. She noticed the book in his hand.  
  
"You found my book!" The Colonel looked at the heavy book in his hand, forgotten in his fear of Mary's possible castigation of him.  
  
"This is yours?"  
  
"Not mine, obviously." She said it as if the Colonel were very slow. "It is from Mr. Darcy's library, if you bothered to open it. I was borrowing it in hopes that I would learn something new." The Colonel was shocked. This was the 'firebrand?' Well she certainly was something.  
  
Weston chose this moment to announce his presence. He stood up from his seat. Too bad for him that Mary had chosen that moment to leave. 


	3. Whoopsy Daisy

Disclaimer: Characters are OOC and since the language of Austen's time is a bit out of my scope, I am making do.  
  
Chapter 3 The Accident  
  
The Colonel saw his friend's face; it was utterly crestfallen.  
  
Liam looked around . where was the lovely angel? She had disappeared, as angels are wont to do.  
  
"Harcourt, Mary is going to come back. Maybe, this time, instead of making a grand entrance as your ego wants, maybe you'd like to introduce yourself as we do in polite society." The Colonel said laughingly.  
  
"My dear Fitzwilliam, I don't think you understand polite society. It needs men like me who can make a fine and stylish entrance." A snort was the response to his lovely speech, a sputtered cough "dandy"  
  
"What? What was it that you said?"  
  
"Hmm.Me? Nothing at all." The Colonel's large grin, of course, belied the statement.  
  
Liam's retort subsided when he saw Mary begin to descend the stairwell; he slowly glided towards her in a very stylish manner.  
  
Liam did not notice that the corner table was out of place . (insert ominous music)  
  
"Hello my lovely ." Before he could finish the sentence, Liam stumbled. He attempted to regain his balance, but his legs were not obeying and he stumbled farther in the direction of Mary who could only watch the scene unfold with mounting amusement.  
  
However, only Elizabeth could see where Liam's faltering steps were taking him.  
  
"MARY!! Get out of the way!"  
  
But it was too late; Liam finally submitted to the will of gravity and took Mary down with him.  
  
Elizabeth began to chuckle. Georgiana and Kitty were in full-fledged hysterics, and the Colonel and his cousin Darcy were guffawing.  
  
"Excuse me, Sir, but if you would be so kind as to remove yourself from my person? It would be most appreciated." Mary could only say from under the weight of the Earl Liam Harcourt.  
  
"Of course." What else could he say and immediately stood up offering a gentlemanly hand in aid.  
  
"Thank you very much, you were quite heavy." Mary said brushing herself off. She was quite embarrassed and her cheeks were flushed red.  
  
"Oh Mary, are you all right?" Elizabeth asked with concern when she had gotten hold over her hilarity.  
  
"I am perfectly fine, thank you very much." Holding her head up high, she walked back up the stairs and went to her room for a good sulk over her embarrassment.  
  
Kitty and Georgiana quickly curtsied and followed Mary, walking as quickly as proper decorum allowed.  
  
"Mary, are you really all right?" Kitty asked, for no matter how much she teased Mary and Mary teased her, they were sisters.  
  
"I am fine, my bottom and my ego will survive."  
  
"I don't think you are supposed to say the 'b' word in polite society Mary." Georgiana admonished.  
  
"Bottom is a polite word."  
  
"I really don't think it is. But no matter, what we really should discuss is the upcoming Season. We are leaving for London in two weeks!"  
  
"London! But what should we really discuss, Georgiana?"  
  
"Well tactics! Kitty don't you agree?" Asking Kitty whose attention had wandered to the cat on Mary's bed.  
  
"Hmm? Mary don't you know cats suck the life out of you while you sleep?"  
  
"Of course they don't. It is a silly superstition. I think I might have a name for the pretty cat, Georgiana who is that luckless Lord who fell on me?"  
  
"Lord Liam Harcourt, Earl of Weston." Was the prompt answer.  
  
Mary lifted the cat as it tried to squirm away, "I doth pronounce you Weston after that arrogant little man."  
  
"Mary he wasn't little, he was quite tall actually." Kitty protested.  
  
"And quite heavy." The girls laughed.  
  
* * *  
  
Liam was bright red as Darcy and the Colonel led him to the library for another drink.  
  
"Why Liam, who knows what a fabulous dancer you'll be this Season. It seems as if you have lost all your skills that involve, well motion." Darcy said laughingly at his friend  
  
"Oh do be quiet." Liam growled as he glared at the Colonel who was still having quiet hysterics.  
  
This was terrible. He was literally falling for the girl now. And he fell on top of her! Laws of propriety should demand that she marry him now, what a pity that they were surrounded my friends and family who would only laugh it off, mostly at him.  
  
Now what am I doing, thought Liam. What a pity? I do not want to be married. Not yet. Maybe not ever?  
  
And what did the girl mean that he was heavy. Was he, gasp, getting fat?  
  
"Do these pants make me look fat." Liam tried to find a full-length mirror. "Stop laughing Richard (The Colonel is thus named) You, too Darce! It isn't funny!"  
  
* * * "Back to the subject at hand." Georgiana told the avidly listening girls.  
  
Georgiana looked grave. "I may not have had my first Season yet, but I have heard some horror stories that would curl your eyelashes." She frowned for a second; the expression sounded a bit off. Oh well.  
  
The girls settled in comfortably to listen.  
  
"There was this girl, in her first Season in London. Her name was Matilda. And this is the true story of how she was trapped talking with a boor for over two hours at a ball and then was forced to dance twice with him!!!! His name was Elwood. The entire time that they were at the ball, he had somehow forced her into a corner --" there were twin gasps at this "and talked AT her for the entire time about the color red! Red apples, red shoes, red roses, he commented on anything and everything red! The poor girl tried to escape by hinting that she wanted punch. Finally after she asked him straight out, he went to get and came back with her father in tow, and she was ENGAGED!"  
  
"OH NO!!!"  
  
"That poor girl."  
  
"Yes poor girl indeed, and it is very much a true story."  
  
"That's ghastly, simply ghastly!"  
  
"Oh I could tell you more, but I wouldn't want to give you nightmares."  
  
"See why we need a nice tactical strategy? If we find ourselves trapped in an interminable conversation or dancing with those with heavy shoes, we need a way to get out of those situations."  
  
"Good idea Georgiana, what do you suggest?"  
  
Kitty spoke up, "Perhaps if we scratched our noses?"  
  
"I do not think that is very elegant." When Elizabeth opened the door, she saw all were in deep thought.  
  
"What are you girls pondering?"  
  
"Tactics, Elizabeth, tactics." Georgiana responded with the severity and seriousness of a General on the battlefield. Many would argue a Season in London was worse than a real war. At least on the battlefield you knew who your enemies were.  
  
"I think I need a bit of clarification."  
  
"We are afraid that some boors will hunt us down."  
  
"Kitty darling, you do know there are no boars in London, they are safely in the woods."  
  
"Not boars, boors of the human variety."  
  
"I see."  
  
"We need a signal for when we need to be rescued."  
  
"By Jove, I think I've got it!"  
  
"What is it Kitty?"  
  
"We can wave flutter the fan 6 times. No more, no less."  
  
"Fabulous. Now that it is all settled, would you like get dressed for dinner? As we have guests, I hope that you will behave like the lovely young ladies I know you are."  
  
Mary muttered darkly, "I'll behave if that rogue behaves."  
  
"Oh Mary, that was an entirely an accident." Elizabeth said as she exited. 


	4. Third time's the Nope, guess not

Chapter 4 And Third time's the . nope .  
  
"Goodness gracious, have we arrived?" Georgiana said wearily peering through the carriage window .  
  
"We're here!!!" Kitty said practically jumping out of the carriage window in her excitement.  
  
Mary only looked at a crushed hatbox by her feet and said, "I hope that MAN isn't here. He would probably destroy the rest of my luggage. I swear ."  
  
"Don't swear Mary, its not polite." Mary only glared in Kitty's direction.  
  
"As I said before, I do believe," Mary glancing with half closed eyelids at Kitty, "That he is the most inept man alive."  
  
"Mary, he did say he was sorry." Georgiana said trying to placate an angry Mary.  
  
"Well, I do not forgive him. He SAT on my hat!"  
  
"He didn't mean to."  
  
"Yet he did sit on it." Mary said grumpily recalling the incident.  
  
* * * Flashback .  
  
Liam, embarrassed by his lack of grace, saw the girls standing by the carriage as he was horseback riding with Darcy and the Colonel, who were still tittering over his awkwardness with Mary even more so as they saw the object of his observation.  
  
"It's not funny!"  
  
"Oh but it is Harcourt! Look at it from our perspective. Normally, the ladies are always swooning because of your charm, yet that famous Harcourt charm has shriveled up in the presence of a country miss."  
  
Mary could make out three figures on horses from far away even with her poor eyesight and asked Elizabeth, whose robustness extended even to vision, "Lizzy someone is watching us."  
  
"Don't worry its only Fitz, the Colonel, and Lord Harcourt."  
  
"Harrumph!"  
  
"Mary don't make a face or it will freeze that way."  
  
"Stop sounding like a mother Lizzy!" At that comment, Elizabeth put her hand on her stomach and looked thoughtful, and murmured so low that none could hear, "Maybe I'm just practicing."  
  
"Darcy!" He had spurred his horse and headed in the direction of the ladies. The Colonel only shrugged and spurred his horse too, Liam sighed.  
  
"Baa! I am a sheep!" And he bounded forward.  
  
Fate had a funny way of doing things, and at the moment its attention was focused on the poor Lord of Weston, Liam Harcourt.  
  
He bounded and he was about to stop his horse when a rabbit skittered in front of his horse frightening it and the horse reared.  
  
Liam tried to maintain control, but it was he versus a large frightened beast. Liam never had a chance and fell off as carefully as possible . onto a hatbox.  
  
Mary glowered at him.  
  
"Oh dear." He stood and pulled the hatbox still stuck on his posterior. He unstuck it and passed it to her, "Was this yours?"  
  
Mary snatched the box away and tried to pop it back into its previous shape. The attempt failed and she only glowered even more fiercely at Liam who tried to apologize.  
  
"Please forgive me Miss Bennet." He did his best to look contrite, and on his handsome face contrition worked very well. He knew, offhand, that several young ladies would have needed smelling salts, but not Miss Mary Bennet.  
  
"No." She said simply and stepped into the carriage with her crumpled hatbox. Liam, knowing her for such a short time, recognized that fulminating look and it meant that he was in deep trouble.  
  
Mary was quiet throughout the ride to London. She was planning the downfall of Lord Liam Harcourt. The man had injured her and hers TWICE already! She must not let a third time occur.  
  
* * *  
  
Back to the present .  
  
"Mary he is very sorry for accidentally landing on you and very sorry for ruining your new bonnet. It is best to forgive and forget." "I'm sorry Elizabeth. I know he is a good friend to Mr. Darcy, but he has injured my honor. For that, I can never forgive and certainly never forget!"  
  
Mr. Darcy opened the carriage door and assisted his sister and Elizabeth out. The Colonel could only assist Kitty out because Kitty threw him several hatboxes that one arm would certainly never be able to carry. It was amusing to watch him try to balance a Miss Bennet in one arm and several hatboxes in the other. The Hatboxes were winning. A gloved hand extended to help Mary out of the carriage.  
  
She balked.  
  
"Please Miss Bennet." And Lord Liam begging was a sight never seen before. What did this young lady have that sent this man to almost to his knees?  
  
Mary sighed; even she could not withstand the puppy dog look on Liam's face.  
  
"Just this once, nothing better happen to AIEEE"  
  
Everyone stared.  
  
Mary and Liam were once again lying in a heap. Limbs tangled together. The carriage step had broken when Liam had put one foot on to pull Mary out.  
  
Darcy frowned.  
  
"That has never happened before. I wonder if it is because . " The Colonel interrupted at this moment.  
  
"Liam is fat."  
  
The girls began to giggle. Liam glared, as he lay prone on the ground.  
  
"Miss Bennet, are you all right?" Liam asked righting himself and slowly untangling himself from Mary.  
  
"I don't think so. My ankle hurts." Mr. Darcy signaled the butler to fetch a doctor.  
  
Liam picked Mary up in his strong arms.  
  
"This is the third time, Lord Harcourt!"  
  
"I really am terribly sorry. How can I make this up to you?"  
  
Mary's green eyes held a wicked gleam. "Oh I think I can come up with something." 


End file.
